the more things change, the more they stay the same

what's done is done,
is for ever, cannot be change,
stupid mistakes never fade,
never truly vanish in to antiquity-
they haunt you, plague you,
upset you, "what if... what if...
what if..."

nothing will ever be the same as it was,
the tears cried never return to the ducts,
the heart never truly fixed after breaking,
there is always something missing,
nagging you, pulling at you,
driving you to distraction,
tears rolling down your face
and you're not sure why

gaining little from what you enjoy,
unable to think, to feel, to be
your concentration broken,
your convictions gone,
no desire,
no passion,
no plea -
all washed away,
like a bottle in the sea

how i long to be back at shore,
back in the safety of your arms,
in the warmth of your love,
but one stupid mistake,
one stupid mistake,
made in the haze of sleep and passion,
an expression more raw than could be controlled
and i lose you.

i know you tried and tried to take me back,
but it just was not to be,
we tried and tried to start again,
but i could tell that life with me would lead to misery

nothing i can do will fix what i've done,
no present solution will fix my past mistake,
out of luck and out of time,
like so many before me and as so many will follow

i will never forget you,
never forget what i did-
what you said,
time cannot errod what i've done,
but it can save you from me,
from what i will do,
and gently drive me from your mind,
till you are truly free.

my mind is my prison,
inescapable, unchangeable,
not willing to forget or forgive,
all that i have done wrong,
a millstone on my back,
with life an uphill journey-
well off the beaten track

please do not remember me,
but do not forget my pain,
remember the mistakes that i have made
so you will not do the same