Stress

stress!
slowly building, slowly bubbling,
slowly creeping, slowly growing,
slowly filling, slowly pouring,
building then breaking,
slowly trickles down,
pouring down, pouring over,
to much, to much, to much
coping beings to fail,
the dam broken,
to much, to much
Stress!

the more things change, the more they stay the same

what's done is done,
is for ever, cannot be change,
stupid mistakes never fade,
never truly vanish in to antiquity-
they haunt you, plague you,
upset you, "what if... what if...
what if..."

nothing will ever be the same as it was,
the tears cried never return to the ducts,
the heart never truly fixed after breaking,
there is always something missing,
nagging you, pulling at you,
driving you to distraction,
tears rolling down your face
and you're not sure why

gaining little from what you enjoy,
unable to think, to feel, to be
your concentration broken,
your convictions gone,
no desire,
no passion,
no plea -
all washed away,
like a bottle in the sea

how i long to be back at shore,
back in the safety of your arms,
in the warmth of your love,
but one stupid mistake,
one stupid mistake,
made in the haze of sleep and passion,
an expression more raw than could be controlled
and i lose you.

i know you tried and tried to take me back,
but it just was not to be,
we tried and tried to start again,
but i could tell that life with me would lead to misery

nothing i can do will fix what i've done,
no present solution will fix my past mistake,
out of luck and out of time,
like so many before me and as so many will follow

i will never forget you,
never forget what i did-
what you said,
time cannot errod what i've done,
but it can save you from me,
from what i will do,
and gently drive me from your mind,
till you are truly free.

my mind is my prison,
inescapable, unchangeable,
not willing to forget or forgive,
all that i have done wrong,
a millstone on my back,
with life an uphill journey-
well off the beaten track

please do not remember me,
but do not forget my pain,
remember the mistakes that i have made
so you will not do the same

The Game

finally free to speak,
but am unsure what to say,
theses feelings never fading,
but memories pass away,

i don't know what to do,
all meaning thrown away,
once again, alone,
not a place i should stay,

i wish there was something,
too grasp, too hold,
anything out there,
to help me break this mold,

life is a sacrifice,
and mine have been made,
all i ask is for relief,
for a cooling place in the shade,

too long I've played the game,
to long I've slipped in sin,
now i finally know the truth,
it's a game you never win.

It is movement, yet it's quiet,
the movement surrounding,
the voices inspiring
bringing to light feelings seldom felt,
twisting and turning, holding you tight,
it's grips so tightly that you can barely breath,
why do i deserve this?
a simple man should never hold one so beautiful...
a promise to return

Noise

NOISE

Shaking the shutters,
rattling the Pains,
shattering the silence,
filling our brains

NOISE

filling our lungs,
blockading our ears,
growing gradually louder,
teacher in tears.

NOISE

teaching gone quiet,
all learning cease,
the continual pounding
as headaches increase.

NOISE

CrAzY truck, please!
let us learn!
your chance had,
give us a turn!

silence

all noise gone,
as headache cease,
learning is resumed,
finally in peace.

THE Abstract Master

This abstract master,
Completely in control,
Nothing makes it faster,
It’s passing takes it’s toll.

Forever waiting,
Forever trying to rewind,
This controlling abstract,
This concept of time.

We are never ready,
We beg and pled for more,
Not careful with what’s given,
We all decided to ignore.

It completely surrounds us,
Totally Encapsulating man,
We rush around for it,
Trying to fit it to our own plan.

It won’t stop or slow,
Not for me or you,
Spend your time wisely,
It’s the only thing to do,

Don’t forget love,
Don’t forget friends,
Don’t forget to live
This life will end.

down wards spiralling up

What this now?
Back in to the fray,
I though I’d escaped,
Back into the light of day,

The night draws me back,
Like a ball down a hill,
Falling slowly into the pit,
Tear after tear I spill.

I wasted my time,
My effort, my life,
All for this, this nothing,
No escape from the strife.

Anything said,
Everything done,
I’ve only lost friends,
Now I have but one,

I feel so lost,
I feel so cold,
I refused to conform,
I broke the mold,

But here there in,
Only loneliness lay,
For all others have gone,
Not one would stay,
But who would stay
With a wretch like me?
Not man nor beast
Would answer my plea.

But one and yet three,
My last hope,
He will give me light,
And lead me to victory.

Governs my life,
Controls my being,
I give it all to him,
My life he is freeing,

From the bondage of sin,
From the clutches of earth,
my chains are broken,
a new life, a rebirth.

My lord, my God,
Forgive me my wrongs,
Let me live for you,
The life for which I long.

amen